Just another 10th grader.

Dear Uncles and Aunties, Friends and Foes,

It's not easy being in grade 10. Admit it, there are enough chapters and innumerable theories and dates to bombard our so called "tender" minds. But it's really not worth the hype. It's just another class… okay, a slightly important one… But, seriously why are we 10th graders constantly reminded about the deadly "boards". It's scary, scary not because it's "The Board Exam" but because of so much excitement it brings within our friends and family members both, near and the distant ones too.

The scary question: question of the year, "Which class are you in बेटा?" "Tenth" I answer meekly. The next moment I confront a bunch of curious eyes; armed with an eerie concern eyeing me like I'm some alien from Neptune!

It's annoying when some bygone uncle of mine, who hardly knows my name asks me when my boards are. Seriously? What are you going to do by even knowing when they are? Are you going to sit beside me, prepared with all answers and help me out on that day? I myself am clueless about when they are going to be held.

Humans are painfully inquisitive creatures, hungry to dig out matters out of their relevance radar. So please, even if you are genuinely concerned about your some distant niece or nephew of yours, who is in the 10th or for that matter, the 12th. Please don't petrify the poor kid by constantly reminding him that "The boards are here." and stop making him feel miserable by saying that "THIS IS IT. THIS IS DO OR DIE."

Bless us, that is the best thing you can do. Leave the rest to us. Stop preaching us on how important they are or how crucial that one exam is; because whatever it is, your genuine concern or "poking your nose attitude" it isn't really helping. Well-wishers please, continue saying, "best of luck" and let's hope for the best.

Thankyou,

Just another 10th grader. 

A thriller, you and I already know.

Some of you might think I need to be rushed to some lunatic asylum, however; there is something so exciting about these exams, that no matter how much I hate them; Somewhere, I do enjoy them. Especially the part after exams, when the teacher comes in with the corrected answer sheets. That is the moment she appears like god to me, she contains those answer-sheets; "my answersheet", that is priceless than any elixir especially since my marks at the mercy of her pen. It's that moment when all feelings start overcrowding in your mind, fighting with each other to establish their domination. A good paper welcomes desperateness, eagerness and the same time a little fear of getting a nasty shock. A bad paper calls for depression, sadness and yet a bleak flame of hope. When I'm 2 roll numbers away , everything around me goes silent. I jostle pass a mob of happy and sad students. For me everything at that moment is alive yet eerily dead. 

When the roll call starts, I can feel myself trembling with fear. I try not to look around; because that makes me feel even worse. When my fellow toppers are up with very good marks, I feel the pressure over me, that I too need to score and the fear of I being the only one with bad marks starts taunting me. Seeing the good ones with bad marks, leaves me pale with fear; "if they've scored so bad, what's going to happen to me?" Either ways I'm traumatized, so I keep my head down and simply pray. 

The teacher calls out my roll number. My face by then is as tiny as a dried tomato. I look at the teacher first, before looking at my marks. At that moment it feels as if the entire atmosphere is collapsing over my little head. Then I glance at my paper. Here there are 2 things that can happen:

My prediction comes true. I get what I expected. Then the blow or the happiness is moderate. Possibly because I'm mentally prepared for it. 

Sometimes, the prediction goes wrong and turns out to be either terribly vile or an unbelievably sweet surprise. In this case I'm too shocked to react. Terrible marks make me feel as if someone punched me while I was having a good dream. Amazing marks... I guess that can be understood. 

 Whatever the marks are, they need to be accepted. No matter what they are, I try not to make a fuss out of it, unlike a few people who annoy me with their narcissistic talks or bore me with their teary-eyed drama. Once the paper is in your hands, the suspense is out, the thriller film like aura ends; either its is 'paisa vasool' (A good paper) or shamelessly pathetic (a bad paper). Money spent is spent (that is; paper written is written; now nothing can be done), so there is no point in cribbing. The trick is to not let one good paper or a bad paper affect you in anyway. So many exams are to be written, so many are to be passed; afterall, what can one goddamned exam do? 

The Final Ten Minutes

Studying for exams is undoubtedly a nudnik... Writing an exam is even worse...

But do you know what the worst part is?

The last ten minutes of the exam. 

The ten minutes when it is the question of do or die; where at one side the monotonous drone of the invigilator creepily echoes in your mind and on the other hand there is a piercing desperateness to know whether the page-long anwers you've written on the answer scripts are right or not.

The real challenge is not in studying for the exams, it is in surviving these ten minutes. Lately, I've been observing my fellow students while writing the exam. At one corner I see a person biting his nails frantically, shaking his legs vigorously, glancing at the watch that is mercilessly ticking away and racking his brains on some seemingly hostile question. On the other end I see a few sleepy-heads effortlessly sleeping and some quick ones waiting to just get rid of the paper as soon as possible; not to mention the helpless ones looking around for stray answers to copy from. And there somewhere at the back I see my brilliant friends flipping through their answer scripts for the millionth time, hunting like a hungry eagle for any mistakes. 

The last 10 minutes of an exam is that time when you either regret not having studied or regret that you'd finished your paper so fast and begin doubting your own answers or maybe if you're lucky you don't regret at all...

No matter how tough the exam is, surviving the last ten minutes is the toughest thing, at least for me and that moment when I hand over my answer script to the invigilator the happiness that rushes through my blood is something which cannot be over-powered even by a depressingly disastrous paper.

And then, then is the time when the brilliant student of the class would deliberately be asking everyone some answer which he definitely knows is correct, just for the sake of showing off; and at the same time, the less intelligent at academics are morose and regretful and some happy go lucky faces are gladly rejoicing the the freedom attained after 3 hours of nerve-wrecking brain storming.

However, no matter how bad your exam was, there is always something to be happy about, and that is...the fact That it is finally over. (At least for a while)

The painful reality

Just a few days ago I took part in a singing reality show's auditions with absolutely no intentions or goals. For me it was meant to be just sheer time pass. I had randomly registered, with no hopes of my number even making it through the lottery system. Well, surprisingly it did and indeed I was glad as well as excited.

Informed just two days before the auditions I decided to not waste much time on song selection and zeroed down on one song. 

Firstly: How can you pick genuine talent by lottery? 

Secondly why do you inform just two days before the actual event? 

Okay, the above questions can be undermined. 

Reaching the venue before the assigned time, I saw hardly two people outside the gate. I assumed that the previous batch was already inside and concluded that once they were done I would be next.  But no, upon asking the guard for the actual location he told me to keep walking and so I did and oh lord! The queue was like almost half a kilometer long. By the time I took my place in the queue, I felt as if I had successfully caught a glimpse of Lord Balaji at Tirupati and I could see the queue extending behind me  like a monkey's tail. So the next two hours were spent on the road waiting for the hideous queue to move. 

Question, Why do they have to make us stand in the scorching sun instead why can't they collect the crowd in one covered place?

However at early morning, fueled by enthusiasm I didn't mind it. 

Then finally, I attained moksha from the roadside business and got into the venue. I expected the crowd to proceed fast with all the form fillings and stuff as they show on the television but no, this was the part where all the TRP interviews were being done. I passed by a young lad, who was speaking in front of the camera as if he had learnt history by-heart. Impassive yet with no flaws. And for me it was, 45 mins of boredom. 

Question, Why do they have to hold the entire line for some TRP recordings? Can't they do it elsewhere? 

Then came the third phase that is no where near exit. The queue had refused to move into the stadium where the registration forms were being given out. Yet the place was well sheathed by the trees and hence, it wasn't as annoying as the previous one. Here another 45-50 minutes were spent.

and finally when we were let into the stadium; I was shocked, right in the scorching early afternoon sun there were three narrow rows where all of us had to squeeze in. This was one of the most pathetically organized zone. With aunties jostling past me and their flamboyant umbrella's missing my eye by centimeters this place was hell and this hell lasted for about an hour. 

Question; don't the organizers have enough money to make arrangements for a covered area for people to stand? 

Then finally the forms were given out to be filled, and let me tell you this phase was no less taxing. Post  the form filling gala, the crew members made us sit like jokers at one side of the stadium and this is where the drama begins. 

So basically the channel had to shoot some video and we were the background who had to put in fake smiles and "oohs and aahs" (Which of course I refrained from doing so) So for this one shoot two hours were wasted. And look at the annoying part, the participants were DICTATED to raise their hands, wear smiles and look as if they were having the time of their lives. The entire batch that was sent in was put on hold! Imagine getting delayed by 2 hours. 

Question: I am not telling you to stop your TRP stuff but why use us as the decoy? We are here to sing NOT to act.

By this time people began revolting and finally their shooting was wrapped up and the names were announced for the final phase. By this time I'd lost my enthusiasm, eagerness to sing and my voice (because of the sand that kept rolling around) All I wanted, was a nice shower and some food. To hell with singing, I wanted to go home.

So, trust me, you may be a very gifted person, capable of getting all awards... If you are looking for a platform for showcasing it, let these reality shows be your last option. Unless you genuinely have the inner matter in you to bear with the tortures mentioned above.

They say reality is not easy, but reality shows are painful. Hats off to genuine winners, if at all, there are any!

Priceless

This morning was unusually strange. I woke up to realize that i don't have the burden of exams on my shoulders (At least for some time :P ) . I realized that I wouldn't have to begin my day sulking at the mere sight of books. Books? What are books? It's really strange! I've got so used to waking up and sticking to my books that I feel a slight pinch of guilt as I face my computer screen; that probably I'm just wasting my time. But no... This is actually the much awaited time.

But the uniqueness of this time is only because of the unanimously abhored exams. Ever since this academic year has commenced, my little brain has had a tough time juggling and balancing; the tedious theorems of maths and Newton's laws, remembering the bygone dreary day when the great emperor of China entered this world and the length of the various rivers that flow arond the world and creating poems in proper Hindi to uncoding the perplexing patterns of mental ability; but it's because of these tough times that this short break feels so good. It's the feeling you get when you take a sip of icy cold water after a tiring hard run.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Exams are hell. Most would agree but at the same time, this phase... Once the nasty exams end, once the academic session finally comes to an end (Yet there are many more to go), this phase where time spawns like an endless sea, where boredom sets in, I like it :) I like this feeling, when I am aimlessly gazing at the ceiling, observing the constant drone of the ceiling fan, frequently checking my phone hoping for some messages and constantly cribbing for little eats.

The funny part is while studying, I sensed my old classics calling me, my computer dreamyly mumbling my name, my television wailing as I parted away from it when my little 'breaks' would end but now it seems like none of them is actually bothered. I'm fed up of books, the networking sites are spammed with people and their incoherent pictures and the television has justified its title 'idiot box'. But that's okay. Probably somewhere inside I do miss studying and sweating over science and maths but the fun of being a free bird is priceless. Ofcourse the old life shall soon commence in a few days but till then - this is my time... :)

:) :P :D XD

:) (That's a big smile) :D (This one is even bigger) XD (This is ultimate)

These emoticons have honestly changed the way we express our thoughts. It's simple, to write as well as understand. Today, languages like English cannot be considered universal, it is these emoticons. With the press of 'Control' and 'a colon' followed by a bracket; brings in a wide smile on our face. You may speak Latin or German or even French but no language is so universal that even an illiterate old man  from a remote village can understand.

Behind this :) may be a bald uncle you might have mocked at.
behind this :D may be a pretty girl you'd have had a crush on.
:P May instantly make you realize a bygone prank played by you and your brother on some person.

But it doesn't matter who is behind these funny little faces, all that matters is that they make you smile, cry... You can connect to them. Age, Color, Gender, status all fade behind these Universal Messengers that unite humans as one. You may be pretty, you may not, but for these carriers of emotions it doesn't really matter.

I love these tiny smilies and :Ps they make me feel acknowledged and loved. A dull two lettered 'hi' is transformed into a more awaited and elated 'hi', 'how are you' with a :) becomes a much concerned and genuine question...
So my conclusion would be: :) use this more often because it really makes a big difference. 

"My son/daughter is a post-graduate."

Three Idiots preaches, "Life is a race! तेज  नहीं  भागोगे तो कोई तुम्हे कुचल के आगे निकल जायेगा"
And that is true... At least for the current flock of Indian masterminds.

No matter how much the education system may boast of making education in India stress-free, it has increased the amount of stress a poor kid is being subjected to. I've heard stories of students racking their tiny brains, burning the midnight oil and trying their best to get into the Master and Dictator of Indian prodigies, 'IIT.' I don't mean to offend anyone with that dream, it is definitely something to desire for, but not if it is for the sake for getting into some big-multinational company and owning a posh car...

I'm against that. I know, what ever I do shall be something that I love. I don't believe in studying something just for the sake of some flauntable, safe, future career option... Not for the sake of getting  into a 6-9 job, in front of a desktop, getting a regular monthly salary. Most of the people who take up engineering (largely) are those who are hardly interested in science. What's the whole point of studying day and night, spending two years of one's life trying to crack some examination for the sake of getting into a safe job? Foreseeing the future is none of our business. We could probably take a precautionary measure but I strongly feel life is enjoyable only when it has it's own twists and turns.

Life is like a movie, it is a known fact that a person who has never seen failure doesn't realize the happiness that one gets when he rises from the ashes like a phoenix. Life is memorable only when it is topped with ups and downs, twists and surprises, hopelessness and confidence.

One must study what ever he wants to, for the sake of self-satisfaction and not for anybody or anything else. The education system is getting tighter and tighter, the competition is increasing, I don't know why... Is it because of the evolving technology that turns an ordinary toddler into a Newton, solving complex calculus problems, or is it self-realisation that makes a person work harder. In the past, education was to pass 12th grade, that was normal, a decent amount of education. Then it was raised to graduation... where everyone was hellbent to boast that his/her son was a lawyer, doctor, engineer... Now a post graduate is desired and I wonder what the children and grandchildren of my generation would have to go through to be regarded as people with decent education.

Children attend coaching classes from the tender age of 12, probably in the future this will be lowered to 6. I wont be surprised if I see tiny kids proceeding towards coaching classes instead of giggling and feasting on chocolates and enjoying the most memorable and beautiful phase of life, 'childhood.'

Do, do what you want to do. Do it for the sake of love, not for materialistic betterment. 

Not always, Not forever

He said that he would be there forever, he promised me that he would never leave me and always be by my side. Every time I toiled over bad times he smiled at me and held my hand.

Yeah, only then did I perceive that he was the biggest flirt on Earth. He followed everyone. making everyone's lives hell. Only then did I realize that the smile that he smiled was vengeful, everytime he held my hand was not to hold me back, but to push me.

But he hates those who make their own destinies, who like to live life the way they want it to be lived, in a right way ofcourse. I said that it was time he got out of my life. he begged and pleaded to be spared but I shunned it off with a denial. Even now, he tries his best to come back into my life, trying to make it hell; But hope and confidence are the biggest barriers against the dirty hands of TROUBLE.

Yes, trouble. He is none other than trouble. Promising to always be beside everyone. To make everyone's life hell. beware, he fools you, cheats on you and ultimately destroys you. Trouble is a shameless person, following everyone... from a day old infant to an 80 year old. But yes, he is not invincible. He can be defeated, as long as one doesn't succumb to his sugar coated words and actions.

"Trouble the trouble, before the trouble troubles you" :P

(Note: Trouble is a personification, not a person)

Forever 5'4''

I'm way beyond that age when people get excited with an increase of 1 tiny mm in their height. Now is the time everyone is obsessed with looks, makeup, fashion and guys. -.- Well, I do care about my looks,  but I aint hounded by it. I'm not a tom-boy either. 

Name: Cocos Nucifera

Phyllum: Cocos

That's my family. In simpler words, my family has some long-lost connection with coconut trees. Honestly, I have a brother and a sister (Cousins) who are just a few months elder to me... However, you would definitely mistake me to be some baby sister (By baby I mean little kid) of their's. My parents have a really good and desirable height, everyone in my family does except me. How I wish I was as tall as them, so that I could look down to the world and the others would look up to me :P 

I am a person with gigantic feet. For long I've been told that soon I would out-run my parents in terms of height. Trust me, I've been hearing this for years. I took part in basket ball, did some weird asanas; that I learnt from YouTube... in fact decided to drink the liquid I hate the most, milk... yet, I continue to be a person with meager height. I see that I'm growing horizontally not vertically... I guess a diet too needs to be added to my guide to prettiness.

I often find solace when I see film stars who are short in terms of height and I feel glad that I aint the only one. I check my height almost every week hoping to see some tiny increase that can lead to tremendous joy but the results are always disappointing. Whenever the ruler touches my head I feel a pinch of curiosity in me and I ask, "Any increase?" and my mom nods her head in denial to my question, and my enthusiasm drowns...

I've now lost hope and interest in this height game but I do hope that someday I do get to look into other's  eyes and talk rather than talking to them by looking up. I'm constantly told, "Your parents are tall and you too will grow soon, chill." I am chilling, trying to chill... Hoping that I will definitely touch the sky one day

Clearly Unclear

I'm at that phase of life where everyone has a fiery passion or desire to get into some top institution like say, IIT, AIIMS etc. At that phase where maximum amount of one's time is devoted to studies. I have a few very ambitious friends who are really working hard to achieve their dreams and here I am, sitting at my desk aimlessly blogging.

When I was 9, I wanted to be an astronaut; like every child. I was so passionate that in fact I bought a couple of books on space and planets to start preparing. Which I now regard as a lame attempt. The very look at the night sky used to fill me with more determination.

When I was 10, I wanted to become a music director. As I play the keyboard, I decided that I would follow the path of A.R Rahman and become someone like him. I used to make my own kiddie compositions and used to pride myself as the next Mozart.

When I was 11, In the 6th grade... I decided, that I would stop fooling about and make a proper decision. I decided to take up medicine and become a doctor, partially because it would give me an escape route from the much dreaded Mathematics. Little did I know that Biology and Physics would go on to become my biggest problem. In fact I was even clear about the specialization that I would do, I wanted to be a gynecologist.

When I turned 13, I had already shifted to Mumbai and I got my wake up call. I realized science especially biology, was far more tougher than what I had imagined it to be. The standard of studies rose, we were doing advanced mathematics and science and I decided, I couldn't deal with Biology. After successive flops in all the Biology exams I said, "enough" I decided I would take up the trusty, preferred by all, monotonous-Engineering.

I convinced my family to put me into coaching classes for IIT. After a cycle of tests I dropped my dream of IIT and aimed for some other institute, as I realized that my tiny brain could not crack that exam. Not even in it's wildest dream. Since they were coaching classes for 'IIT' and not school the standards of what they taught was high and that freaked me out.

Projectiles and Vectors gave me sleepless nights and I knew the harsh truth that I wasn't built for complex theories and logical application.

I decided, I would take Commerce. Get a graduation in economics or commerce and then look at further options like C.A or MBA. I did sufficient  research regarding that field and saw that it had it's own risks and catches. I stand on a road which bifurcates into two, at one end the horrors of Newton and Rutherford haunt me and on the otherside impassive numbers and data await me. My plans for future are completely bizzare. I know what I want to become, but I don't know what I want to study.

When I decide that I shall take Commerce then the sunny side of Non-medical sciences shows up. When I make up my mind that I shall take Non-medical sciences the horrors confront me. People tell me to come to a conclusion, I'm still thinking and that day is not far when I have to decide. But it looks like I shall declare my decision only on the D-day.